that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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