he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
