Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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