Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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