I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
