i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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