You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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