I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
