Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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