alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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