1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
