I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
