why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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