explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
wow bdsm is so cute
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
