you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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