Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
