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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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