So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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