im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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