If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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