Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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