What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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