u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
