this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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