Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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