just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
