OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
