How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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