the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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