Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
