people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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