is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
