butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
