i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
