I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
