hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
