I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize