she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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