Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Im part way to drunk.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
