I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
