So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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