I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize