ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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