the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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