Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is Oprah even human
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
