I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize