This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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