guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
