We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
