i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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