You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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