let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
