He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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