that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
