i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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