so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
