I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
