I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
