If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
