Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
